Feeling The Need To Vent

This post is going to be a little different from my normal posts, but I'm feeling the need to vent and this is where I'm doing it. This is definitely more for my benefit than anyone else. I don't care who reads it and I don't care who sees it. It's for my benefit to unleash some hostility that I'm holding in. It's not directed towards one particular person and it's not about one particular event. What you are about to read has happened to me several times but it's happened enough now that it's really gotten to me.

**Disclaimer: This post is NOT directed at anyone in particular. If you read it, please don't take it personally or twist what I'm saying**

The Freedom of Speech is a wonderful thing, and it's something that I exercise rather frequently and freely; but, somehow, it's gotten me into trouble on numerous occasions.

I'm 25 going on 26, I'm a college graduate, I have a great job, I'm married to a great man, we hold our own very well, I definitely have babies on the mind...all in all, I'm a grown up and I don't want to deal with any kind of drama. I'm too old for it and, quite frankly, I don't have the time for it. I've even moved from the city where most of the "drama" in my life originated!

Now, with all that said, why does petty crap continue to follow me? Do I have to stop speaking my mind about absolutely everything?! Gosh...I'm not even really speaking my mind! I'm posting about upcoming events that I'm excited about, I'm posting my annoyances, I'm posting my opinions, and sometimes I'm just posting because I feel like posting. Isn't that something that everyone does? Isn't that the sole existence of Twitter and the most popular thing to do on Facebook? So, if I'm just doing the same thing that everyone else does on these social networks, why do people take offense to my posts? What is it about my posts that just makes someone think that I'm talking about them? I don't get it. I don't mention names and I don't point a finger saying "this is about that person right there --->" Facebook and Twitter statuses should not be taken seriously! Just like Facebook friends shouldn't be taken seriously! I mean, come on, I have somewhere around 450 Facebook "friends." Do you really think I'm friends with all of those people?

What I want to know is, if it's MY Twitter and if it's MY Facebook, aren't I allowed to post what I want? And, who cares what or who the hell I'm referencing?! I'm not naming anyone in any of these posts, I speak in broad terms, so, why would someone assume it's about them?

You know, I honestly don't think this has anything to do with what I'm posting, but rather about the person who's reading it. I honestly feel that if someone reads one of my statuses and genuinely feels offended by it, then that person is the guilty party. I'm just posting something that, to me, means absolutely nothing! Nothing at all! Why, why, why do people read so much into these stupid little status updates? I don't get it!!! People read these statuses, they assume I'm talking about something or someone, they play a little game of telephone (and we all know how that game ends up), and I'm the one who ends up being attacked, and I'm the one who looks like a horrible person.

I already walk on egg shells around various people in an attempt to not hurt their feelings. What else do I have to do? I grew up in a small town where everyone assumes they know everything about everyone, and you can't assume! I honestly think people look at me, think I'm mean, then read what I write and assume that I'm just talking crap about someone. That couldn't be further from the truth. I don't care that much about people that I don't talk to on a weekly/bi-weekly basis! And I don't mean Facebook chat, Twitter mentions, or by writing on your wall. If I don't make it a point to talk to you by phone, text, or email at least once a week or bi-weekly, then I really don't care all that much about you! That's not me being mean, that's me being brutally honest! As honest as I can possibly be! So, If I'm not talking to you like I mentioned above, what in the world would make you think that you're on my mind when I'm updating a stupid status or posting a tweet?! It doesn't make sense.

I'm not a horrible person. And I'm not writing "I'm not a horrible person" to make me feel better about myself or to make me think that I'm not a horrible person. I'm a good person and I know I'm a good person. I know I'm a great wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I don't wake up every morning thinking "You know what? I think I'll be as mean as I can possibly be today and I think I'll say something just to piss someone off." Really?! I'm definitely not the type of person who intentionally hurts someone's feelings. When I hurt someone's feelings then my feelings end up being hurt, and I don't like it when my feelings are hurt. I'm just not the person that people think I am and it's hurtful to me that people actually think this way about me, especially when I've never done anything to them.

I'm a huge people person and I love nothing more than to be surrounded by a huge group of friends, but I can't continuously put up with the crap that's thrown at me because someone takes what I say the wrong way. I think I've come to a crossroads where I really have to start evaluating who I let into my life and who I should keep out. To help me start this process, I have purposely blocked people on Facebook to keep them from seeing any kind of information about me, I have purposely locked my Twitter and have deleted followers whom I think may have contributed to the "drama" of my past, and I have purposely deleted phone numbers. The fact that I had to do all of this at the age of 25 is mind boggling but it is what it is, and I'm willing to do anything to keep my life simple and happy. This blog is the ONLY thing that's public but, once again, I've never spoke ill of anyone or any situation in particular within this blog, and this blog is strictly for when I need to vent about something or to document the life of my husband and myself.

I feel the need to mention this again...THIS ISN'T ABOUT ANYONE OR ANY SITUATION IN PARTICULAR! This is me being fed up with the same stuff that has happened to me several times. It's toxic and I don't want this in my life. I hope this is all as clear as glass.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and letting me vent. :)